It’s always the Coaches Fault…
In so many ways, Walter Gretzky walked the walk. He often told Wayne when both of them were much younger that his sublimely gifted son had an obligation to play every game with the same level of effort because he would never know if there was some child there watching his first NHL game or an adult spending his hard-earned money on the only big-league game he would see that season. Walter kept that in mind when he encountered people, greeting them with a warm handshake, a look in the eye and a genuine interest in them. Walter Gretzky Was The World’s Hockey Dad – The Hockey News on Sports Illustrated
Hockey is an amazing game. Its a team game. Where 20 something players get together, compete and work hard for one another, and, generally, the team that competes the hardest, is disciplined and works, together wins. It’s complex and simple at the same time.
Consequently, teams both win and lose games. Every team experiences both sides of success.
This is healthy.
Studies have shown that well rounded, emotionally healthy, persistent kids, have greater chances for success in adulthood. The recent article- Science Says the Most Successful Kids Have Parents Who Do These 5 Things | Inc.com showed 5 key parenting characteristics that compelled future, successful adults. These were:
- Mother’s Happiness
- Childrens Persistence
- Engaging the Child in Learning
- Taking Music Lessons
- Teaching the child to be Indistractable
Nothing I’ve read, learned or seen anywhere points to long-term child success if parents:
- Place Blame on Others (Coaches/ Teammates) for their own lack of success
- Handle adversity negatively
- Quit when faced with adversity
- Disengage from difficult challenges
- Get easily Distracted by outside conditions
So Parents, please allow your child to experience both success and failure, and don’t blame someone else for simple outcomes. Sure, if your coach abuses the officials and takes a bench minor with a minute to go in the game… There might be merit to blaming the coach. Or your Coach only plays his son, and his son is unproductive relative to other players on the team… then maybe speak with the coach or administrator of the organization (not through text or email) face to face (or Zoom) and see if changes can be made. If the Coach is abusive to the players (verbally or physically) of course those situations have to be addressed.
But if the Coach is trying his best, the team is engaged and working hard, the team is disciplined…. Maybe it’s not the coaches fault your team didn’t win today. Maybe your son or daughter could have scored, stopped a puck or otherwise contributed to changing the outcome of the game.
Either way, it’s the way you handle that outcome that will best position your child for success or failure later in life. Reinforce dedication, handling adversity, overcoming obstacles and working within a team concept. Applied correctly, Hockey can be the great learning tool your son or daughter has in the game of life.
By Andrew Trimble
Andrew Trimble is the General Manager and Co- Owner of the New England Wolves Hockey Club. He is also the Owner of Scoring Concepts LLC, a New Hampshire based hockey training company that offers camps, clinics, private lessons and teams. He has coached at all levels from Learn to Skate to College Hockey. For more info on his teams and programs check out- www.scoringconcepts.com or www.ne-wolveshockey.com
To Purchase Andrew Trimble’s new book “The Hockey Planner” click here- The Hockey Planner: A Year by Year Plan to Assist You on Your Hockey Coaching Journey: From Learn to Play to Junior Hockey: Trimble, Andrew: 9781963743388: Amazon.com: Books
